How to invite a chayal boded (lone soldier) for Passover

If you want to invite a chayal boded (a lone soldier who is doing his or her service in Israel without any family) for Passover, contact me for the army contact to get the process started. They will send you a form to fill out and upon approval you have guests for the seder. Its a really big mitzva and very interesting to meet soldiers who left home to serve in the army. You can request soldiers who speak English, French, Russian, Spanish and Hebrew.

A Must Read

Thinking about Shlav Bet? The good, the bad, the ugly: http://jonnydegani.livejournal.com/

More Shlav Bet pretty sounding PR

As this new article in the Jpost shows, the army loves to announce the great opportunities available to Shlav Bet. They seem to leave out the part which requires you to sign up for more time, in some cases years in order to serve in the soldiers field.

'Shlav Bet' soldiers to get better jobs By SHELLY PAZ, Jerusalem Post Dec 16, 2007

Immigrant soldiers serving in the IDF's Shlav Bet shortened service program will be assigned to technological and academic units that will utilize their professional skills, the army announced Sunday.

In addition, the army stressed that immigrant soldiers assigned to more desirable positions would be asked to serve for a longer period, extending their service to at least one year.

The IDF changed its policy toward Shlav Bet soldiers after a story in The Jerusalem Post published in August 2007 revealed that the IDF was not efficiently assigning skilled immigrant soldiers with academic degrees, work experience and high motivation to positions that would utilize their skills and education.

The standard Shlav Bet program, designed for new immigrants between the ages of 22 and 25 who are required to serve in the IDF, lasts from four to six months. The program includes basic training and an optional ulpan. The IDF's ulpan class, especially designed for new immigrants, spans two months and is taught by soldiers from the Education Corps. Olim who arrive after the age of 25 will not be allowed to volunteer for the program.

After the ulpan, the soldiers spend three months training for a variety of positions, including tractor and truck drivers, tank mechanics and artillerymen. The feeling among many new immigrant soldiers who fall into this category is that the IDF does not take their work experience and academic education into consideration when allocating army jobs, and does not invest in them because of the shortened period of military service.

Native Israeli men and immigrants who serve in the army before the age of 22 serve three years; women serve 18 months.

Some of the unsatisfied soldiers said they wished they had made aliya after the age of 25 to escape what they termed "useless" service in the army.

"Today, the army fights for every soldier against the private sector," a Shlav Bet soldier told Post military correspondent Yaakov Katz in August. "When it receives highly skilled and highly motivated resources, it should not waste them through bureaucratic inefficiency."

On Sunday, the IDF promised its new program would better utilize the professional skills the newly arrived soldiers bring with them, starting from the current Shlav Bet induction.

"According to this new policy, the recruits will participate in a seminar in which explanations on the IDF's needs and opportunities will be given to them," the IDF said. "Afterward, the soldiers will be interviewed for the available positions in technological units and will be assigned in accordance with their skills and professions."

Sergey Segal at tironout

This is us at night (shah tash) during basic training sitting around and doing a whole lot of not much before bedtime.

Check out this blog

I would highly recommend this blog written by a young woman who recently completed her military service. She goes by the name of Mad Zombie Hunter, and this is one of the only blogs about the craziness, fun, trials and tribulations in the IDF which made me laugh out loud. Not just smile, but laugh so hard I thought I was going to have an accident. I have an extremely different and much more optimistic outlook on army life, hearing it from the other side was very refreshing and entertaining. Starting from the bottom post and basic training to the top and getting out of the army, its a wild ride, and an insight into what people are sometimes really thinking.

Check it out at http://www.poe-news.com/forums/sfs.php?fi=U9407

Black vs Srugie

From the Jerusalem Post:

Aug 10, 2007 8:42 | Updated Aug 10, 2007 8:42
Haredi rabbis in IDF fear replacement
By JPOST.COM STAFF

Haredi rabbis in the IDF rabbinate are concerned that the army wants to replace them with rabbis from the national religious sector, Israel Radio reported on Friday.

The rabbis say the haredi presence in the military rabbinate is decreasing, and that there is a growing tendency to prepare national-religious officers for the rabbinate.

According to one IDF source, the fact that priority is given to rabbis coming from fighting units rather than haredi yeshivot could cause a rift between those yeshivot and the army.

The report also said the number of rabbis taking the army's officer's course has doubled in the past year, and even tripled in comparison to previous years. The rabbis receive the rank of lieutenant following the course.

The IDF said in response to the report that the number of rabbis pressed into officer positions due to a shortage of reservist rabbis has grown, and added that the army respects every rabbi as-is and will continue to encourage the service of haredi officers.


> There are so many things that are wrong with this, I dont know where to start. Oy.

Training Day

Before joining the army, I was curious, nervous and very excited. I had no idea what was going to happen, and put a lot of irrational fear and over thinking into what it would be like. I researched, checked blogs, scoured the internet, and finally built what I thought was an accurate portrayal of the army in my head. I realized I had no idea what was going to happen when I walked into Ricochet with my friend Josh and ordered everything on my extensive list, a combination of suggestions I had read on the internet, the army’s checklist, and something from the Jewish Agency. I got things I never used, but it’s still good to have some random piece of kit in your bag, just in case. I try to make my motto “always be prepared”, and while I am not much of a boy scout, having a safety pin in your pocket can be real handy sometimes. Leading up to the army, I think I watched Full Metal Jacket way too many times; it really made me expect something altogether different than what actually happened. When we got our rifles for the first time, someone did start singing “this is my rifle, this is my gun” which was an ongoing joke for the English speaking guys during basic training. Everywhere during basic someone was quoting that movie, or someone rattling on about gumbo or Vietnam ala Forrest Gump. In many ways, basic training was a lot like summer camp with guns with a few small differences. Lots of long days, plenty of running around, formations, tons of food, constant snacks, great friends, and plenty of small annoyances. I found it critical to think positive, and looking back I think I had a great time. One of my teammates told me I did a lot of grumbling and always wanted more information about what is coming next. I did remember not being very happy with the first couple weeks and not knowing what was going to happen, eventually we had a posted schedule of the weeks’ activities.

I recently showed a friend who is a former US Marine my pictures from basic and he said he was shocked we looked like we were having a good time. He said “It looks like summer camp, in the Corps they were actually like in the movies”. I love it that in Israel the point of the army is not exclusively to make you the best soldier you can be, they are always thinking about what comes next and how to make you the best civilian you can be. The trips to cultural, national and religious attractions I have gone on in the army have only reinforced how important the country is to the army, and the soldiers who serve in it.

Getting back to basic, I did have tons of questions, I wanted to understand every aspect of the army, and how everything worked. I got to know the term “sheylat kitbag” or kitbag question quite well. It refers to a more or less obvious and idiotic question you pulled out of your army duffle bag that you were saving from when you joined the army. The response to this type of question is also used when the NCO has no idea what the answer is and wants to make something up. For example, our rifles during basic training were long M16’s from the Vietnam era, older than pretty much anyone on the base. One of the NCOs told us that the reason there was a picture of a horse engraved on the side of the gun is because the Colt Company used to be a toy manufacturer. The story goes that they decided to make rifles since it proved to be more profitable than making toys. My friend and I volunteered to research the topic and provide some factual information about the M16, Colt, and the origins of the modern rifle. We went through all the information Wikipedia had on the subject, and came up with a great briefing. During our “camping out” time around the shooting ranges, the entire team sat around in a circle and we shared the story of the M16, from when it was developed post WWII to today.

The army in general is a relaxed place. Soldiers call each other bro, and soldiers address officers by their first name. Saluting is usually reserved for ceremonies and training, everyone is always ready to do what they have to do if required. I love it that people are always so in touch with the folks back home, coming home weekends, constantly on the phone, and always planning weekend activities. Service here is all about making friends, doing a great job, serving the country, and really being a part of something special.

Schwartz and the mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream sundae

I got an email a couple days ago from someone asking for another Schwartz story, so here is one from way back in the day. Since my memory is not really all that great, this story is how I best recollect things. This means that this story may be completely different than how it happened, or an elaborated version of real events.

Schwartz and the mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream sundae

We were once hanging out in downtown Toronto, enjoying a nice day strolling around the busy streets. I don’t remember what we were doing down there, except it was a rather warm day and there were plenty of birds chirping. Walking into a nearby mall, we walked around and window shopped, Schwartz looked at the clothing and accessories stores, while I carefully perused the computer and gadget places. After a while, Schwartz told me he was in the mood for something, something cold and delicious. Unaware of what he could be referring to, we continued to ramble, until we happened upon an ice cream stand. Schwartz’s eyes lit up and I thought of my Dad saying “make sure your big eyes match your stomach”. It was hard to take in the multitude of flavors and options; there was just so much milky goodness. I decided on one of my all time favorites, a scoop of daiquiri ice, which is a strange tasting pale green sorbet. I was also eyeing the tiger tail, another favorite of mine. It made up of orange sherbet filled with swirls of melted black licorice and quite a good contrast. My usual third option is my fallback plan, French vanilla. If it was not for the fact I was lactose intolerant, I would be eating a whole lot more of plain vanilla ice cream.

Getting back to Schwartz, he was thinking about going for the mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream sundae. This amazing sundae contained everything a mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream treat should, a dozen huge scoops of ice cream, a split banana, peaks of whip cream, all topped off by sprinkles, nuts and of course, cherries. I don’t think in the history of the ice cream shack had someone actually ordered a mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream, and the woman at the counter asked twice to make sure this is what he really, really wanted. Confirming that he really did want a mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream treat, could pay for it, and would probably eat several, the nervous counter woman started to scoop the ice cream. I think she may have felt a little guilty, since it’s like someone going in to a store and asking for a thousand corn beef sandwiches, they just have to make sure you don’t want to just put an end to everything. After all, who hasn’t heard of death by chocolate? Scoop by scoop the ice cream started piling up in the enormous sundae dish. I lost count of how many there were, first came the plain vanilla scoops followed by chocolate. Jamaican chocolate rum, cookie dough, fudge, maple walnut, strawberry cream, cookies and cream, cream and cookies and many, many more followed. Once the ice cream was arranged just so on the tray, an entire can of whipped cream, or several thousand calories worth, followed. From the forests of Brazil rained hundred of various nuts, closely followed by a rainbow of sprinkles and candy bits. Not to be outdone, several scoops of crushed cookie were liberally applied, and to top it all off, enough cherries to, well, enough cherries. The mega-super-ultra-stupendous ice cream sundae was all its name said it would be, and a lot more. After waiting patiently as this stupendous ice cream concoction was created, Schwartz dug in with gusto.

I won’t go into detail about what happened next, suffice it to say he stared the sundae in the eye, and it didn’t blink. Since that day, I think about projectile vomiting in a whole new way. The lesson to learn here is, if the ice cream is mega-super-ultra-stupendous, just walk away and leave it alone before it comes looking for you.