Breakfast

This morning while walking though the mall in Be’er Sheva, I passed one of my favorite shwarma stands. Since it was 8:45am, they were just setting up, putting out the salads and preparing for a bust day in the mall. Since I was hungry, and would probably miss lunch at the base, I decided to grab a quick bite, perhaps a pita with some salads. The owner of the shwarma joint, recognizing me, shouted out a cheery “good morning!” and the usual follow-up “what can I get you?”. I told him I was thinking about something light, maybe a pita with salad, and he gave me a dirty look. “Listen soldier,” he said “when I was your age in the army, I would eat meat the second I woke up till the second I went to bed”. I explained that not only was it a bit early to be eating roasted shwarma, but I was afraid if it was undercooked, it would kill me. He explained that a real man ordered shwarma in the morning and had it grilled, making sure it was perfect to eat. My manhood having been called into question, I took him up on his offer and had a wonderful, if slightly burnt shwarma for breakfast. I guess this is another small step to being a true Israeli….

Quick update

Great news! I just found out I passed the police exam. I am now finally done shlav aleph. Its great knowing that I got through 90% of the test, in Hebrew, on my own. I now can fake my way through the army, no one will ever know I really don’t speak Hebrew half as well as I should. Its one thing to order a shwarma and quite another to write an essay or figure out a complicated exam written in complicated Hebrew. I am excited to get my uniform and get started at the police as a uniformed policeman.

For the moment I have bigger problems, such as getting everything on my list for the army. My enlistment day is two weeks from today, its getting closer all the time. I was in touch with some friends who I may be on the same base with, it seems that the Marvah guys are going in the same day, but I am not sure if we will end up in the same place.

Happy belated Thanksgiving

I am in the middle of writing a new story titled Four and a Half. It just doesn’t seem to want to get off the ground. After a number of revisions, it’s still at the half way mark, and right now I am not inspired enough to write the rest. I guess as soon as I get around to polishing it off, it will be posted for all to see. Its going to be an interesting story, I just need to ponder it a bit more.

In the meantime, I wanted to pose a question. If you’re like me, you’re not an American but have plenty of friends stateside. So when American holidays come around like Thanksgiving, it’s hard to understand what all the fuss is about. In my personal experience, we don’t give American Thanksgiving much though in either Canada or Israel. In Canada Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. It’s a recent development, on January 31st, 1957, Parliament decided that "A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed ... to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October." From then on, Canadians everywhere had a day to eat turkey.

The problem is, here in Israel we don’t have a national turkey day. So I don’t feel left out, one of my friends from the US gave me a fantastic idea. Everyone in Israel should get into the spirit of Thanksgiving by eating a Turkey shwarma on the new National Shwarma Day to Promote Unity and Harmony. Its something new we are trying to start, get everyone to go out and have a shwarma. It’s a great idea because you don’t have to wait hours for it to cook, you don’t have to keep it moist, and its ready to eat as soon as you get it. Also, I don’t know if chummous would go well with a traditional turkey.

Therefore, I don’t think anyone from the Middle East can object to a national shwarma day or NSDPUH. NSDPUH, or as we call it, Nasdupah, will be the best civil holiday of the year, simply because the government will mandate shwarma eating. I don’t see Hamas staying mad much longer after we invite them to a Nasdupah celebration with tons of roasted meat, fresh pitas, and tons of spreads. Nasdupah revelers from all over the Middle East will be flocking to my favorite shwarma joint to have a hot one right off the presses. At the same time, we can warm our relations with the States, and have yet another reason to eat shwarma. I am sure the turkey producers of Israel and the US would love a holiday which promotes their industries, as well as mutual understanding and cultural exchange.

Happy belated American Thanksgiving!