Savlanut

One of the first things olim (new immigrants) learn upon arriving in Israel is how to cope with Israeli bureaucracy. You would think that having better customer service, longer hours of operation and helpful clerks would actually make the companies/government more money and make life easier for everyone. If that’s what you thought, you would be completely wrong and still living in the “North American head space”. It may seem like a foreign concept to wait in endless lines, initial and sign hundreds of mystery documents, and receive mail with no apparent purpose other than the bank or power company wanting to be in touch. That’s more or less just the way Israel works, fighting the system or trying to change it is usually frustrating and pointless.

Many new immigrants assume these are all just things they don’t understand, and with time they will figure the system out. The only problem is most Israelis have no idea what any of these things mean either, but they do know how to work the system. Dealing with everything from the government to the post office and the banks is like trying to roll a huge boulder uphill while people on the sidelines shout directions at you in a language you can’t understand. Being truly Israeli is a matter of creating balance, a cultural feng shui. There must be a careful balance between two concepts, savlanut and being atzbani.

Savlanut is the concept of patience, taking a deep breath, and not getting frustrated when you realize the bank is only open for three hours on Tuesdays. Savlanut is the reason why we don’t have drive by shootings, people killing each other while waiting in line, and endless public brawling. I guess it also helps you have to check your gun when you visit most government offices and beer is sold in corner stores. I once asked at the Jerusalem DMV why you have to check in your gun before standing in line to wait you turn to argue with the unhelpful clerk. She just stared at me and asked “don’t you think it just makes sense?” It seems that utilizing savlanut is extremely important to get through the day and to deal with the million and one hassles that someone from North America just can’t understand. Why does the tax office think everything you import in your lift contain bottles of single malt scotch and cartons of cigarettes? At the tax rates they inexplicably charge, it would be cheaper to forget the furniture back home and buy a couple cases of alcohol and tobacco here to help you get through the home shopping experience. So take a deep breath and just exhale, reminding yourself its all worth it because you’re now in Israel.

When all else fails, and it quite often does, the real Israeli turns to the second half of the equation. If savlanut is the force side of the Israeli persona, becoming atzbani is nothing less than the dark side. When one finds it’s no longer possible to maintain self control, keep calm and wait patiently, its time to turn atzbani. Like the Hulk getting angry, the screaming, shouting and hysterics come bursting to the surface. The glare, the shouting, the “try me and see what happens” attitude are all parts of getting really, really atzbani. Many Israelis evoke this tactic after waiting in line for a couple minutes, or may even get started while on the drive over. As a North American, you will still have plenty of patience when the entire line has already passed you, gone berserk, and gotten exactly what they wanted by virtue of screaming alone. You may be tempted to copy the Israelis and do some screaming on your own. Just remember, the important thing is not to apologize in between each epithet at the clerk’s mother and his choice of shirt. Apologizing and displaying savlanut in an atzbani situation confuses people. It makes them think you are a fryer (sucker) and are meant to take advantage of, if only to teach you a lesson. Being atzbani is not about creating enemies or making the other person feel bad, it’s just a way of getting what you want. As the maxim goes, he who screams loudest gets exactly what he wants, with a discount to top it off. Just because you went ballistic on someone and got what you wanted, it’s important to remember that in Israel the other person is now your friend, you have been through a cultural exchange, not an exchange of insults or verbal taunting.

The bottom line, try to stay calm, try to figure out how to work the system, wade through endless paper work and keep a smile on your face. When all else fails, blow your top and see if screaming accomplishes anything. Either way, its all part of the experience, welcome to Israel!

Perception versus the Israeli reality

With less than three weeks left to go, my army service is right around the corner. I have been wondering what its going to be like, and how I will cope.

I was thinking about how before I started the police I really had such a different perception of what it would like; mainly based on things I had seen on TV. In reality, the way the police operate in Israel and the role they play is completely unlike anything in the States or Canada. I didn’t really have a good frame of reference for how things are done here. To highlight just a couple of the major differences: in Israel police officers don’t wear bullet proof vests under normal circumstances, and unlike in the States, police never use their guns to order people around, ever. Even putting handcuffs on someone is considered an arrest with force; the focus is always on maintaining the dignity of the person, and providing excellent, prompt, respectful and proper service. Many of my friends from back home have the idea that being a cop in Israel is like something out of the Wild West. From what I have seen so far, the role of a police officer in a city is much more benign, with a definite emphasis on “customer service”. It’s really different here, I guess when you feel something in common with the average guy on the street and the fact that everyone is Israeli, makes it completely different. Somehow we are all in this together; you can really feel it while interacting with the general public. In Canada, people have much more of an Us versus Them mentality, here when you pull someone over to give them a ticket, they come running out of their car and either start screaming, tell you who they know, or show you how you’re related.

Much like the police experience, I have a feeling basic training in the army is going to be nothing like it is portrayed in the movies. I am certain it’s going to be hard, but it’s a great experience and one of the cultural gateways to really becoming Israeli. I am not that great with sleep deprivation or exercise, but as the past two summers excavations have shown, you can get into it quite quickly and enjoy it. I am looking forward to the experience; I think its going to be a real adventure. The first day of the army is a once in a lifetime event, I am sure I will make a lot of new friends, and along the way have a lot of new stories. I am not crazy about getting shots and blood tests on the first day, but I guess it’s a small price to pay to get a uniform and represent the country.

Two sides of the same coin

In my world, people are always trying to come up with new ways to contrast and compare everything. Good and bad, black and white, there are so many fault lines and rifts between people, groups, and ideologies. The recent row over the gay pride parade and the rioting in Jerusalem is just one example of the tensions simmering below the surface. If you take a look at the patchwork way in which rifts between groups are mended, it seems as if it’s a temporary band aid on the underlying problems. It is paramount we work together as a society for the common good. We are made up of so many factions, from religious to secular, the privileged to the working poor, Israelis run the full spectrum of human possibilities. As I think the country has shown in the past, when push comes to shove, when the future is at stake, we put aside our differences and pitch in together. I guess it’s when we have nothing better to fight about; we look inwards and get riled up by our fellow citizens who may not be exactly like ourselves. The joke about the Jew on the deserted island goes, after years of being shipwrecked on a deserted island, he was finally found. Before he set off back to civilization, he asked the ships captain to come ashore for a tour of the island. The captain was blown away by the sight before him; the castaway had built an entire city out of wood. Walking through the street, the shipwreck told the captain “this is my synagogue, pointing to a building on the right” he continued “this is the other synagogue, on the left”. The captain asked why one person would need two synagogues; “well” the shipwrecked man answered “that’s the synagogue I don’t go to”. As the expression goes, as two Israelis an opinion and get half a dozen answers. We may not seem eye to eye on everything, or anything, but somehow we still keep the country moving along and trying to find the best compromise for everyone to keep things on track. I think that’s one the best features of the country. Get on a bus, go somewhere, stand in line, order some food, you suddenly have something in common with everyone around you. Shared history, heritage and outlook may be a common bond, but it’s more likely you will find yourself eating jachnun and schug (fried dough and hot pepper spread) with people from four continents. You so often meet people from all walks of life that in any other context would have nothing in common with. Suddenly you find both the ninety year old grandmother from Ukraine and the twenty year old sabra both love soccer, but root for different teams. Israel has a way of bringing people together, and making not just memories, but creating life in a state where things are dynamic, exciting, and alive. I read in a magazine a while back about a survey of chefs in Israel and what they thought Israeli food was. From shwarma to pita, chummous to cous cous, everything we consider Israeli has its origins in other cultures, and other places. Even in antiquity, Israel was the place where there was an exchange of ideas, culture, and goods. Perhaps the recipe for the perfect falafel was passed along by a merchant looking for the perfect recipe for shwarma… It seems that the real answer is that Israeli food, like our culture, is fusion, with bits and pieces taken from all over the world and woven into a tapestry. We have room in our cultural palete for gifelte fish, falafel, jachnun, malbi, and plenty of room left over for the hundreds of cultural delights. I always think of Dr. Seuss and his story about butter side up, or butter side down. As a nation, we each have a unique take on the world and how to go about making it a better place. Ultimately, we hopefully all end up eating our bread and butter whatever side it’s on. Maybe it’s not critical how we get there, but that we work towards a common goal together.